2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it glows. i had to have it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
