I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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