You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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