Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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