Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
