i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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