Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
