You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
