im six kinds of drunk right now
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
