i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize