She's JV to your varsity
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
