What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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