Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
