she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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