10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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