I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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