awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I don't think brook has ever known best
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize