Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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