she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
