Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
