Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize