he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
