He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
