I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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