the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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