apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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