I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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