yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
