We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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