Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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