hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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