i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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