direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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