she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
