well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She needs sedatives and a leash
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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