so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
