I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
