you have to choose: penises or morals?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
