i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
