don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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