Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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