(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
