Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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