I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
