Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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