What a fucking waste of an outfit
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm really busy with my period
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