If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
