So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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