I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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