I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
