I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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