Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
