mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize