oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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