Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize