Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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