she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
