If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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