About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
