wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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