Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
