i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
