just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize