She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
