i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
