Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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