I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Sober January is a disaster.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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