So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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