Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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