i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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