You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
