I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
