The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
