Sorry, I don't speak sober.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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