I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize