go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
