mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize